May 1



<K`shandra> Mike, fortune

* Callahan gives K`shandra a fortune cookie, which when opened reads... "Reorganization is crucial at this time."

<K`shandra> *splutter* in bed....

* K`shandra pictures her bed. "Okay...I want these teddybears over *here,* which will leave me more room for *you.*"

<ilanna> the whips and chains should be on a hook over *THERE*



<K`shandra> I was gonna ask - can someone on Undernet check and see if the fool is still idling?

<DocWebstr> WHICH fool? We know so many.



* ilanna sneezes multiply

<Duluoz> as long as you don't start sneezing long division.....



* K`shandra pounceticklegropesnugglesmoochfondlenosebeephuggles socorro to little bitty pieces, puts the pieces all back together, and starts over.

<socorro> damn kiri, don't you think we should get a room? :)

<K`shandra> Jessie - I'll have to see if room nine at the El Toro is available. ;-)

* socorro looks at kiri: tease...

<K`shandra> And your point?

<socorro> none in particular. 

<docspur> k'shandra: if there is a Drury Hotel nearby I can get you a good hourly rate :)

<socorro> docspur: we'd need more than an hour. trust me...

<cygnet> socorro: Right. It'd take at least 45 minutes just to unpack the wild animals. :)



* colombia checks out frnk's ass...

<Rose> that'll be due back on thursday



<R*> what's this about naked and wet?

<duncan> rik -- rose is always naked and kiri's always wet.

<Magenta> d - damnit, you weren't supposed to TELL them!

<R*> Kiri: like it's a big surprise?

<duncan> what, you blamed it on the rain?

<Magenta> Rik - well...

<Magenta> "yes...it's raining"

* Magenta was NOT going to start quoting Milli Vanilli.



* R* is waiting for linut to come up with a way for her to stream audio

<duncan> how 'bout... over the eelephone?

<Janet> eeelephone?

<Janet> =) is that underwater phone for electric eels?

<Magenta> Talk about reversing the charges!





May 2



(Fun with ops again, as we began to seriously discuss Project Live/Wired)

-K`shandra- Oh, hey, Clay - Doug told me this morning to officially count him in for the guest shot in Denver. ;-)

-DocWebstr- Spiffing. Then I KNOW I'll do Doctor Scott. Because in several scenes, you'll be on with he, Redhead AND me, then. ;)

-K`shandra- *giggle* I'd been thinking the strip sequence, personally. Me, Duncan, Doug, AND Rose? (Yes, she's doing Janet)

-K`shandra- Personally, I'm just looking forward to having the opportunity to say "No, Duncan, you *can't* borrow my husband's lingerie." ;-)



<socorro> so what did i interrupt? 

* Lazarus_ rolls off of Kiri. "Oh, nothing..."





May 3



* K`shandra stretches wantonly.

<Lazarus_> I wanton watch that again. ;-)

<K`shandra> Laz - *s*t*r*e*t*c*h*

* Lazarus_ watches Kiri stretch wantonly. 8-D

<ilanna> can you stretch hot and sourly?

<K`shandra> you saying I'm a saucy wench? ;-)

<ilanna> soupy would be more accurate =)

<Lazarus_> I'd say you're saucy...



* Callahan starts making a house of cards on the bar.

* K`shandra asks to see Mike's building permit.





May 4



<cygnet> Right. Anything's possible with enough muscle relaxants.





May 5



<DocWebstr> *TICKLE FIGHT*! :)

* DocWebstr tackletickles Da Kiribeast!

<K`shandra> EEP!

* K`shandra tickles the living bejezus out of DocWebstr.

<DocWebstr> ACK!

<DocWebstr> You SWINE!

* K`shandra oinks at Doc lovingly.



* Callahan gives K`shandra a fortune cookie, which when opened reads... "Stay at home and take care of a personal matter."

<K`shandra> Damnit, that's what I've been DOING for the last six months!

* socorro thinks kiri has a one track mind. she likes it :)

<K`shandra> Jessie, my mind never left the goddamned station. ;-)





May 6



* Callahan gives R* a fortune cookie, which when opened reads... "Be nothing if not thorough."

<R*> in bed!!

<R*> I am that.

<K`shandra> *giggle* in bed!

<R*> At least I try.

<Callahan> Must have been a while for ya, K`shandra.

* Callahan grins.

* K`shandra debates correcting Mike's misinformation, then decides that would be telling.

<R*> Oh, Kiri.

<R*> Please.

<R*> You'd tell us anyway.

<K`shandra> Yes, but not all at once....





May 7



<Lazarus_> I think someone has masturbation on the brain...

<Magenta> Laz - then they're doing it wrong.



* dunc_riff wonders who to strip

<Magenta> no comment.

<Magenta> (like hell no comment) ME!



<dunc_riff> master, we hasve a visotr

<Magenta> (even if we can't spell)



* Eleri ponders bed

* K`shandra ponders El in bed....

* K`shandra falls over.





May 8



* R* suddenly realizes why she went to nap in the first place, and notices that she never got that done.

<K`shandra> R* - then shall we go sleep together?  Er....



<K`shandra> Slowly I turned - step by step, inch by inch, millimeter by fucking millimeter - and have you ever TRIED to fuck a millimeter?

<Lazarus> Kiri: No.  Kinda like finding mothballs?



(This one's for you, d....)

<columbia> is it soup yet?

<columbia> Campbell's soup, mmm mmm good!

<Magenta> Campbell is NOT soup!

<Magenta> (um, sorry.)

* Magenta blushes under her whiteface.

<Magenta> ...he's just edible...

<Janet> Campbell is sex, not soup.

<Janet> Canned sex.

<Janet> wow.

<Janet> That'd sell.

<Janet> Fast.



* Janet does naughty-looking things with Magenta on stage

* Magenta drags Janet backstage and does naughty things with her. To hell with whether or not they look it.



* Janet has done jack all day

<Janet> And he was goooooooooood.





May 12



<DocWebstr> Gee. I wonder if the tape I made reflects my mood - L7, Rollins Band, Revolting Cocks...

* DocWebstr waits for you all to Go There.

<K`shandra> Cocks are NOT revolting...as long as they've been washed recently.

<DocWebstr> Kiri? Dear heart? Love of my life?

<DocWebstr> Don't make me get out The Clown Hammer.

* Lazarus thinks Doc's been hit with that a few times...

<DocWebstr> Laz - Damn straight. Why do you think they finally GAVE me the damned thing?

<Lazarus> Doc: They prolly busted it on your head.

<K`shandra> Laz - how could anybody tell?





May 13



<K`shandra> I can't believe I just said anything that crude.  Even asterisk-enhanced.





May 16



("I Never" strikes again....)

<Beki> never have i ever seen kiri with a hard on :)

* K`shandra drinks.

<K`shandra> (you didn't say said hard-on had to be *attached* to me....)



* K`shandra takes a look at the Internet Coloring Book....

* Duluoz wonders what color lag would be.....

<K`shandra> *giggle*

* K`shandra is coloring in a dancing skeleton.

* socsplit imagines kiri in pigtails coloring in a coloring book and laughs

* cygnet imagines Kiri in pigtails, with a coloring book, and has a different reaction :)

<K`shandra> cyg - oh, REALLY now? *vbeg*

<ilanna> oh cyg?? =)

<K`shandra> ilanna - I promise I'll give him back in one piece. ;-)

* cygnet grins and shakes his head

<ilanna> now now kiri....now playing with him unless i'm invited =)

<K`shandra> ilanna - okay.  We can have matching ribbons in our pigtails! ;-)





May 17



<K`shandra> I WANT MY OWN FUCKING PRINTER AGAIN, DAMNIT!!!!!

<DocWebstr> This Pressing Need For Prozac Moment brought to you by K`shandra.



<ilanna> mike, fortune please

* Callahan gives ilanna a fortune cookie, which when opened reads... "Some assembly required. Action figures sold separately."

<ilanna> in bed! =)

<Duluoz> some assembly required in bed? er......

<Beki> duluoz hey someone has to put the condom on :)





May 18



* K`shandra looks around for a suitable pillow to thwap Lazarus with.

<Lazarus> Kiri: You have two, frontally mounted.  I suggest rapid fire application to the sides of my head. ;-)



* K`shandra probably won't be here for either show...but, well...*giggleblush*

<Rose-> kiri: you're forgiven *)

<K`shandra> Rose - Why, thank you.  I'll let him know I have your blessing to go out and get laid. *laugh*

<K`shandra> (that does NOT go in the Greatest Hits file!!!!)

(Okay, so I lied....)



<Beki> mike, fortune

* Callahan gives Beki a fortune cookie, which when opened reads... "They say you are stubborn; you call it persistence."

<Beki> in bed?

<socorro> something tells me not to make any comments here beki

<socorro> anything i say will surely get my ass in trouble. 

<Beki> it doesn't matter.. everyone sleeps in my bed.. nothing else goes on in there

<socorro> beki, i don't sleep in you bed. unless i've missed a meeting somewhere...





May 24



<LazNite> Netscape is the worst browser on the planet, except for every other browser.



* Duluoz quietly reverses the polarity of the flux capacitor

<K`shandra> Du - No, no, no.  You're supposed to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow!

* Duluoz looks nervous....

<Duluoz> Oh well, that dimensional instability is probably nothing to worry about.....

<K`shandra> But I suppose it'll be okay.  Just tell me you didn't cross the streams....

<cygnet> Hm. Is this one of those "we have ten seconds to live" sorts of things?





May 27



<cygnet> My purity would only be *enhanced* if I accidentally fell into a mud puddle. :)





June 1



<Duluoz> Ladies and Gentlemen, Buckwheat has been shot......

<K`shandra> buckshot?

* DocWebstr loses it and starts chasing Kiri around the channel with a large meat cleaver

* K`shandra counters with a large herring.

<K`shandra> Wait - wrong pocket.

* K`shandra throws the herring through the window and reaches into her other pocket.

<K`shandra> Ah.

<K`shandra> There's the claymore....

<K`shandra> WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

* DocWebstr looks at his midsection. Darn tootin'.





June 2



<Lazarus> Anyone care to guess my sign?

<DocWebstr> "Keep Off"?

<Lazarus> Wrong Way.

<Beki> this end up? :)

<K`shandra> "Thank You - Come Again." ;-)





June 3



* K`shandra goes stalking, briefly - and returns, bright crimson. Unless she's mistaken, she's been caught at it. ;-)

<Beki> were you stalking the cat?

<DocWebstr> *laugh*

<DocWebstr> No, the bum.

* cygnet waits for details :)

<K`shandra> Doc - Why ELSE would he have been staring at the goddamned camera mount?

<DocWebstr> *LAUGH*

* K`shandra goes to hide in the pollows.

<K`shandra> Okay - someone ELSE go look at him now so I don't feel like quite such a goof.

<DocWebstr> Not a chance. *beam*





June 4



* Lazarus is fried. Going to bed early. (No, not quite yet...)

<docspur> hmmm...fried lazarus...does that come with a dip?

<Lazarus> spur: Only if you're along...



<rocky> ancient spirits of evil transform this decaying form into... a 250lb girl in a gold bikini? ew.



*** K`shandra changes topic to '<Ikiru> my breasts do NOT get passed down from generation to generation'

<Ikiru> kiri, you change that topic back RIGHT now before i kick your sweet little ass.

<Ikiru> and that's KICK and not kiss, dear.

<K`shandra> Awwww...you're no fun anymore.





June 5



(He's the DJ - I'm the smartass.)

<DocWebstr> You know.... one of the highlights of the night tonight is likely to be people's reactions to that threesome.

* K`shandra knows how she normally reacts to threesomes....



(I needed a copy of a weekend or two that I was missing....)

<docspur> uh kiri...will you accept my log?

<K`shandra> spur - of course.

<DocWebstr> *HOWL*

<Wordplay> Kiwi, will you accept MY log?  It's really more of a twig, but with a little help...

<Duluoz> Hey, I've got a log too.... Course now poor docW doesn't have one.... :)



* DocWebstr looks at Kiri and develops an odd twitch. See what we went through?

<DocWebstr> An odd twitch in response to the situation, not in response to Kiri.

<K`shandra> Doc - Right.  You only have even twitches where I'm concerned.

<DocWebstr> And only certain parts twitch. *ahem* 



* K`shandra dances around the channel in her burgundy crushed-velvet minidress....though she's *not* wearing the matching panties tonight.

* K`shandra isn't trying to touch her toes, either. (take *that,* Campbell.)

* Duluoz grins

* Lazarus wants to know what's Kiri wearing in place of the matching panties?

<K`shandra> I was told that was for me to know and my friends not to find out. ;-)

* Wordplay bends over and touches Kiwi's reputation.

* K`shandra grins at Wordplay.

<Lazarus> I've touched Kiri's reputation...

<K`shandra> ilanna - wanna help me with my hair?

* K`shandra sits down, bends ALL the way over, and starts brushing....

<K`shandra> The AquaNet should be over there *waves vaguely*

* Wordplay is trying to think up a euphemism for the part of Kiri he's looking at now.

<K`shandra> Geo - why do you think I sat DOWN first?

<Wordplay> Kiwi, why do you think I put out the clear plastic chairs?  :)

<K`shandra> Geo - you're evil.  I knew I liked you for a reason.

<Wordplay> Kiwi...so I take it *my* euphemism is now "reason"?  :D



* Wordplay considers shearing his scrotum. Naaaah.

<cygnet> Word: Y'know, that might come in handy sometime in the future. I'd hang onto it. :)

<DocWebstr> Cyg, the LAST thing I want to know about is you hanging on to Geo's scrotum!



* Magenta returns, mouth kissably fresh, carrying a pitcher of virtual White Russians.

<AFKWebstr> Might I partake, Mags, m'dear?

<Magenta> Doc - Why, certainly, dear!  Why did you think I brought a pitcher?

<DocWebstr> Ah, you're a lifesaver. *SIP and afk again*

* Magenta looks down. "Well, I'm round...but I don't see a hole in the middle...."



* Magenta pours another glass for Crossfire

<Crossfire> Thanks Kiri.  You're a lifesaver

<Crossfire> Or a jujube or something.

<Magenta> Cf - definitely a Jelly Belly.

<Crossfire> Jelly baby!  Right.  *grin*



<K`shandra> Oh, my fucking god - you're right!

<gdm> You're fucking God?

<gdm> I'm assuming He's pretty well hung, then?

<K`shandra> GP - Well, that's what I was calling him at the time, anyway....





June 6



<Lazarus_> Square dancing wouldn't be that bad if it weren't for all of that country and western...





June 7



(someone was looking for DocW)

<cygnet> No problemo, Doc. If I see him again, I'll grill him more thoroughly. :)

<DocWebstr> Use a Teflon skillet. Less sticky.



<Lazarus_> Chicago doesn't believe in /topics

* Duluoz doesn't believe in Chicago.... just a conspiracy of cartography....



<K`shandra> Amazing how much energy it takes to be a curmudgeon, isn't it?

<Lazarus_> Kiri: The two-hour killing spree takes it out of you, too.



* Gojira swears lustily

* K`shandra does everything lustily - but you knew that.



<K`shandra> *fidget, fidget, fidget* ;-)

* K`shandra gets herself a Diet Coke in a mug reading "I'm not obsessed. I'm focused."





June 8



* cygnet hugs Kiri hello and eyes her towel-wrapped form with interest :)

* K`shandra blushes and hugs the downy baby swan.

<Lazarus_> Kiri: Don't listen to the cyg, I offer a higher interest rate! :-)

<K`shandra> Laz - Yeah, but you've still gotta work on that early-withdrawal problem. ;-)



* DocWebstr registers wounded dignity.

<Duluoz> Doc: I didn't know that was shareware....

<DocWebstr> *snort* Must be why so few people have it.





June 10



* K`shandra returns, turning cartwheels - which, at her size, is something to see.

<socorro> kiri doing cartwheels?

<Duluoz> socorro: Shhh... she's on a roll....





June 11



(Doc and I preparing to announce the live-on-stage debut of the Wired and Untamed Things)

<DocWebstr> Well, anyway, as Kiri is apparently out to breakfast, lunch AND tea... ;)

<K`shandra> Doc - *grin*  Go 'head.  I kinda screamed about it last night in-channel - but I don't think any of the folx here now were here then.

<K`shandra> here being there, that is....

* K`shandra thinks herself into a circle.





June 12



* DocWebstr flyingwhomptackingticklehugs Da Kiribeast!

<R*> tacking?

<K`shandra> Rik - I guess my hem wasn't finished yet.



<duncan> "the only thing we have to fear is..."

<DocWebstr> duncan - HRS at 6:45 a.m. on a Monday morning. Trust me.



<socorro> no doc, you didn't just go there....

<DocNFurtr> Jessiebabe - Baby doll, I not only went there, I set up housekeeping and registered to *vote*. *SNAP*



<socorro> kiri, does duncan have a life outside of work? (j/k)

<duncan> nope.

<K`shandra> Jessie - No.



<DocNFurtr> Kiri - Darling, sweetheart, love of my life... 

<DocNFurtr> Go +!_(@#_)(&^ yourself. ;)

<K`shandra> Doc - can't I +!_(@#_)(&^ him, instead? ;-)

<DocNFurtr> Oh, hell, why not? It's your birthday show. :)

<socorro> kiri, you can (^&(*^*( all of us, ok?

* Beki tosses kiri a case of condoms go ahead :)



<DocNFurtr> This ain't a netsex channel, people. If you're going to do that, get your own ch... oh, hell, what am I saying?

<K`shandra> Doc - this IS our own channel.

<K`shandra> "Jubal, we *own* this hotel."



(Ode to the BrokenMobile, by the Wired and Untamed Things)

<duncan> ... i drive really slow in the ultrafast lane...

<K`shandra> d - so that was YOU in every goddamned car in front of me at work Friday?

<duncan> no... if it were me you'd see me 'tween your bumper and mine makin the car go.

<DocNFurtr> duncan - From what I hear of your car, you can hardly *help* it! :)

* K`shandra thinks it's time to rechristen duncan's Honda the Millennium Falcon.

<K`shandra> "You came here in THAT?  You're braver than I thought...."



* duncan tries something stupid...

<K`shandra> Get your tongue AWAY from the light socket!

<DocNFurtr> And into KIRI's s.... aw, nevermind. ;)



<duncan> ahhhhhhhh.  light dawns.

* K`shandra watches the light come on behind duncan's eyes....

* R* giggles muchly and evilly

* R* pulls the cord turning on the light behind duncan's eyes, and then turning it on and off and on and off

<K`shandra> Hey!  Quit yanking my man's chain!



* Magenta shalalalas for all she's worth. (Which, at the moment, is about fifty cents. *grin*)





June 13



* cygnet genteelly covers a yawn with one wing

* socorro offers cygnet a cup of joe

* K`shandra wonders absently how she fit joe in the mug.

* Duluoz wonders if joe minds...

<socorro> no, he's dead

<Duluoz> Ah... blender



* Beki sneaks a blow up sheep into cygnets bed

* cygnet disarms the sheep cunningly

<cygnet> Or am I thinking of the wrong kind of blow-up sheep? :)



<socorro> ok, did i scare everyone off yet?

<Beki> nope :)

<socorro> damn, gotta try harder....





June 14

(Happy Birthday to me!)



<DocWebstr> Ahhhhhh, now THIS is chili.

<Duluoz> maybe you need a sweater?





June 15



<K`shandra> We *are* getting old, aren't we?  *sigh*

<DocWebstr> Aw, I prefer to think of us as aging like a fine wine.

<DocWebstr> (pause)

<DocWebstr> Or Mad Dog 20/20. Whichever.



* socorro sits on laz's lap. seems comfy enough.

* Wookiee sits in socorro's lap, listening for the chair to break

<Lazarus> OOooof!

* K`shandra stays on the opposite side of the room.

<K`shandra> I even *look* at that chair and it'll disintegrate. ;-)





June 16



* LizziBabe returns and grunts. "Me strong. me carry 2 40lb dog food bags in from car." <thump chest>

* socorro wishes she was there to see that....

<K`shandra> Lizzi - Strong like ox, smart like tractor? ;-)

<LizziBabe> strong like ox, dumb like cow.  hitch to plow when horse dies <G>

<K`shandra> "Strong like ox.  Smart like ox.  *sniff* Smell like ox."

<M`jit> lizzi: how butch of you. :0



* Lazarus_ puts out a feeler...

<DocWebstr> Laz - Put that away! You'll get arrested. :)



* LizziBabe rolls onna floor laughing her tits off @ Rose's "Got RHIS?" campaign

* socorro hopes lizzie doesn't loose her tits permanently over it :D

<LizziBabe> oh don't worry. i won't lose 'em.  they're so small, i make *damn* sure i know where they are <G>



* K`shandra will be afc, watching an ftp to make sure she doesn't overload his "incoming" directory again. ;-)

<DocWebstr> <dry>Gee. I just wonder who "his" refers to.</dry>

* K`shandra mists DocWebstr....

<K`shandra> and if you REALLY have to wonder at this point...gee, can you get cable under that rock? ;-)



<DocWebstr> Kiri, darlin', you couldn't play dumb with an instruction manual and cue cards.





June 20



* DocWebstr will stop being a bitchy ol' queen now. ;)

<K`shandra> Evans, you'd sooner stop *breathing*.





June 21



<Misto> Don't tell me I'm that badly lagged. 

<DocWebstr> I never did care much for your lags, pal.

<Misto> They came as a set to boot.



* Briakittn licks Socorro's cheek and haughtily prrts a 'hello' to Kiri

<Lazarus> Hm, that's the first time I've seen the pussy licking back...



* socorro yawns a bit.

* Duluoz takes the bit and adds it to the bit-bucket





June 22



(More Live/Wired discussion...)

<K`shandra> Bev doesn't work Saturdays, so we can at least meet her for lunch.  A run-through won't be possible, alas, as the theatre opens around 10am.

<DocWebstr> We're just pretty much going to have to fly by the seat of our pants without a run-through. (pause) Works for me. *grin*

<Duluoz> assuming you wear pants.... ;)





June 24



<K`shandra> 'tis now 9pm local, and time for me to turn into a pumpkin. Or go to sleep. Or something.

* Duluoz bets on the Or something

<K`shandra> Du - don't I just wish.

* socorro has a sudden urge for pumpkin pie...





June 25



* K`shandra returns with dinner.

<Beki> what did you make me kiri?

<K`shandra> Beki - Reservations.



(Campbell and Berry - At The Movies)

<K`shandra> That was *way* too fucking rude. ;-)

<__duncan> if you think that was rude rent "Happiness"

<__duncan> it's a film about normal looking people with ... "issues"

<__duncan> it's sick.  watch it with friends.

<K`shandra> Will they still be my friends when it's over? ;-)





June 27



(The Return Of Allen)

<AllenS> I'm bummed...no one is giving me any juicy gossip :(

<K`shandra> Allen - I TOLD you everything already. ;-)

<DocWebstr> Allen - T'ain't none to speak of.

<AllenS> well, there's some gossip you don't know :)

<docspur> we could make up stuff :)



<__duncan> come on ISDN... stay up..

<Lazarus> DUNCAN CAN'T KEEP IT UP!

<K`shandra> THE HELL HE CAN'T.

<K`shandra> um...er...thatistosay....

* K`shandra hides in the pollows, a little too late.